Ask for What You Want
Oct 21, 2025
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Ask for What You Want
When I talk with my clients about for asking for what they want, I get a lot of resistance.
What if the answer is no?
What if the other person is too busy, unavailable, or not interested?
Shouldn’t they know what I need?
And then, I remind them:
You are responsible for what you want.
How can they know if you don’t ask or tell them?
It’s not a popular answer and I can feel the eye-roll through the phone.
Despite the reaction, I love this question. It invites us to lean into our own agency.
Recently, I found myself not asking for what I wanted.
I was working on my website, which is an exercise in humility for me. It usually involves breaking links, getting all the error messages, and then trying to undo whatever I just did, while also attempting to figure out if any part of it worked. It’s a whole creative cycle. (Calling it a creative cycle helps me feel better about the mayhem I can create. 😉)
I’d taken Jill Pulver’s Design Your Business Program and was thoroughly enjoying her summer Mastermind. Ideas were percolating. I was feeling creative.
Possibly a little too creative.
Picture someone let loose in an art story, who picks out sixteen different projects. That was me. Fonts and colors and buttons that may or may not lead to live pages. I was all over the place.
Eventually, I realized I needed help bringing some order to my creative chaos. I’d changed so many things, I wasn’t even sure what “order” looked like anymore. What I really needed was the digital equivalent of helping me arrange furniture in a room.
And Jill Pulver is the best at this.
But I believed she didn’t offer single coaching sessions.
So I didn’t ask her. I posted in a coaching group and said something like, “Does anyone know someone on Fiver who could help with website tweaks?” Because that was the solution I came up with when I wanted Jill and believed she wasn’t available.
I have to take responsibility here: I’m pretty sure if I went back through my emails, I’d find one, possibly several, where Jill had already said she offers single sessions. Remember…I was full of creative energy, so details were not in vogue.
I didn't slow down and get clear.
I didn’t look.
I didn’t ask.
I just…thought.
I assumed.
One person responded to my post.
Wait for it…
You know where this is going right?
Jill Pulver. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
She messaged me directly letting me know she offered single sessions if that would help.
Even though I teach this to my clients.
Even though I know better.
Even though I practically have a soap box labeled, “Just ask,” I didn't.
Once I heard her yes, I had a surge of courage and less chaotic creativity. Just knowing that help was available made me want to try again.
To dig in.
To figure out what I could do so I could be clearer about what I couldn’t.
To show up to our session with questions, not overwhelm.
Her yes empowered me.
It’s so strange how that works. Knowing you’re supported can spark an energy you didn’t even know you had and fuel your own problem solving skills.
It’s the magic of asking.
Sometimes, it isn’t actually help you need, but the capacity to show up differently.
This is why I say “just ask” so often: Asking for what you want, w is a life skill.
- It invites connection, clarity, and growth.
- It taps into someone else’s zone of genius. (Thank you, The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, for this language.)
- It opens the door to support and self-trust.
- And sometimes, asking is exactly what helps you figure things out.
If you’re holding back on asking…
If you’ve been wishing someone would offer…
If you’re afraid your ask is too small…
Ask.
Even if you think the answer will be no.
Even if you’re unsure.
Even if you think you shouldn't have to.
Because sometimes the answer is yes.
Sometimes the answer is better than yes.
Thank you, Jill Pulver…
For your yes.
For your help.
And for what that yes sparked in me.
I’ll be cheering you, and if my website gives you an error message…well you know what’s going on. 😉😉
P.S. Jill started her Fall Mastermind and if you’re dreaming of clarifying your business ideas, offers, or strategy, she’s your person. Her Design Your Business program includes a detailed class, coaching, and a Mastermind. You will walk away clarity about what you’re building and why. Here's the link to Jill Pulver’s Design Your Business Workshop
P.P.S. If you haven’t read The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, this is your nudge. It’s all about letting go of “upper limits” and learning to live and work from your zone of genius.
Here’s my affiliate link if you want to grab a copy. (I only share books I’ve actually read and loved. This one earns its place.)
Here's my book...✨Practicing Enough
Here's my other book...✨Staying True
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