Knitting Lessons from a Life Coach

Knitting Lessons from a Life Coach

When I work with my life coaching clients, my main goal is to help them name their situation, articulate their thoughts about it, identify the feelings those thoughts generate, and recognize the actions and results that follow. We approach this with curiosity to see if the outcomes support their personal growth. This process is known as the Thought-Feeling-Action Cycle, and it's an effective method we can use to coach ourselves in everyday life. Here’s how I used it recently—with a knitting project.

The Blanket Plan That Unraveled

In early November, I had a brilliant idea: to knit a Christmas blanket as a gift for a friend. A soft, cozy creation in festive colors to wrap someone I love in warmth. I found some heavenly cotton yarn in white, red, and green. It was so luxurious that when I saw it was on sale, I did what any rational knitter would do—I bought enough to make two blankets. Looking back, it’s amusing to think I believed I could knit two blankets before Christmas amidst the holiday rush.

But if I’m honest, I’ve never really knitted for the end product. I knit because the rhythmic motion of the needles, the soft yarn slipping through my fingers, and the meditative repetition create space for me to untangle the knots in my mind. It’s therapy wrapped in stitches. While I was technically knitting a gift, I was also actively combating the holiday stress that tends to creep in unnoticed. The bonus? A cute, comfy blanket emerging from my mental chaos.

However, things didn’t go as planned. As the holidays faded into memory and winter deepened, I found myself in February with just one blanket completed. I missed my deadline. My well-intentioned plan unraveled faster than when one of the mischievous foster kittens discovered my project—pouncing on the yarn, tugging at the strands, and leaving a tangled mess in their playful wake.

Applying the Thought-Feeling-Action Cycle

Reflecting on this journey through the lens of the Thought-Feeling-Action Cycle provided valuable insights:

1. Situation: Knitting a Blanket as a Christmas Gift
   A simple goal with a straightforward plan: pick yarn, knit blanket(s), and gift on Christmas Day. But as life unfolded, so did my thoughts, feelings, actions, and results.
2. Initial Thought: "This is going to be so cute and fun!"
   • Feeling: Happiness and enthusiasm.
   • Action: I eagerly picked up my needles and dove into knitting, energized by anticipation.
   • Result: The blanket began to take shape quickly, with each row adding to my sense of accomplishment.
3. Shift in Thought: "This was silly. I’m never going to finish."
   • Feeling: Agitation, irritation, and frustration.
   • Action: I kept knitting, but the joy had drained from the process. It felt like a chore.
   • Result: Progress slowed, and I didn’t finish on time.
4. Reframing Thought: "It’s okay. I’m extending grace to myself."
   • Feeling: Peace and acceptance.
   • Action: I put the blanket aside when needed, embracing moments with my family during the holidays.
   • Result: The pressure lifted. I found joy in both the family chaos and the quiet moments when I returned to my knitting.
5. New Perspective: "Knitting this blanket extends Christmas."
   • Feeling: Enjoyment, contentment, and renewed motivation.
   • Action: I knitted consistently, not out of obligation, but because I genuinely enjoyed it.
   • Result: I finished the blanket with a heart full of warmth—not just from the yarn but from the journey itself.
6. Final Thought: "I’m not behind. I’m ahead."
   • Feeling: Accomplishment and excitement.
   • Action: I began the second blanket, not out of duty but from genuine joy.
   • Result: A continued practice of mindfulness, creativity, and grace—with another cozy blanket on the way.

Lessons from the Cycle

My knitting journey was less about completing blankets and more about noticing how my thoughts shaped my experience. For example, when I focused on perfection and deadlines, knitting felt like a chore, draining joy from the process. But when I shifted my mindset to embrace the rhythm and flow of each stitch, I rediscovered the peace and creativity that first drew me to knitting. This shift reminded me that it's not just about reaching a goal, but about the mindset we carry along the way. This experience reminded me:

• Thoughts are powerful: A simple shift can transform frustration into joy.
• Feelings follow thoughts: Positive thoughts spark happiness; self-critical ones breed irritation.
• Actions are fueled by feelings: Joy motivated consistent knitting. Frustration slowed me down.
• Results reflect the cycle: The quality of my experience—not just the finished blanket—was the true result.

Applying This Beyond Knitting

We all have "blankets" in our lives—projects, goals, or relationships where our thoughts influence our outcomes. Maybe it's pursuing a career goal, maintaining a fitness routine, or navigating a challenging season. The Thought-Feeling-Action Cycle offers a framework to pause, reflect, and redirect:

• When you feel stuck: What am I thinking right now? How is that thought making me feel?
• When motivation wanes: Are my thoughts supportive or self-critical?
• When you miss a deadline or fall short: Can I extend grace to myself and reframe the situation?

Small shifts in thinking create ripples that affect our feelings, actions, and ultimately, our lives—much like how a single stitch can change the pattern of a blanket. Each thought is a loop in the fabric of our experiences, and with just a slight adjustment, we can transform the entire design, weaving resilience, joy, and grace into the tapestry of our daily lives. Just as a single stitch can add a burst of color or correct a flaw in a pattern, a small shift in our thinking can brighten our outlook,and realign us with what truly matters.

So, the next time you find yourself tangled in frustration or self-doubt, pause. Pick up your metaphorical knitting needles and stitch your way through the cycle. You might just discover that you're not behind—you're exactly where you need to be.

I’m cheering you on, thinking of you as I knit my second blanket. As you navigate your own projects and challenges, remember: each stitch, each thought, is part of a beautiful, unfolding pattern. Keep going, stay curious, and trust the process—because you are crafting something extraordinary, both within and around you.