Still Tired? It might not be about sleep

🔉Here's the audio version on Substack

It’s May people.  Let’s be careful out there, especially on social media, because the Maycember reels are coming.  If you haven’t seen them yet, you will. They capture how May arrives with the same energy as December.  There will be packed calendars, sports tournaments, graduations, travel, and longer days. It’s funny unless you are living in your own version of it.

What feels unique about Maycember is the hope each year that next year will be different, and the reality that we don’t plan for it the way we plan for December.  We walk right into it. Again. Surprised.

May is when most schools wrap up. That should create some relief, but kids coming home means extra noise and extra mess.  Memorial Day weekend should be a break, but usually involves packing, coolers, driving, and sunburn.   Mother’s Day holds that layered experience of celebrating our moms while being celebrated by our kids. The days are longer and tempt us to do more.

This frenzy gets added to a truth I’m hearing over and over from my friends and clients:

We’re tired.
Tossing in Maycember doesn’t help.  

When I’m tired, sleep is the first solution I reach for.   When my children were born, I held them and whispered, “I’ll do anything for you, just let me sleep through the night.”  I believed that sleep was the path to being rested.  Get enough of it and you are set.

There’s also Sunday. A whole day of rest in theory, but in practice it’s probably full. Church, Sunday School (attending or teaching), bringing food (breakfast or lunch…maybe both), youth group, travel sports, laundry catch up, meal planning, week planning, groceries to order, and meetings. Sundays often leave us tired as we head into Mondays.

I’ve held these two frameworks of rest for a long time. Sleep and Sabbath.  Many of the women I coach have, too.

Now, I’m having different conversations with the women I coach.  We still look at sleep because sometimes that really is what needs work. Are you getting enough hours? Is pain or worry pulling you out of the deep sleep your body needs? It’s worth paying attention.

By most measures, I’m a good sleeper.  My people will confirm this without hesitation. Early to bed, early to rise, committed to good sleep hygiene and genuinely enthusiastic about a nap. I have Olympic-level dedication to sleep opportunities.

During seasons when I wear my Oura ring, it confirms eight to nine hours in bed.  Gold star to start the day.   And still, I wake up sluggish, maybe some brain fog, and groggy.

At one point I put that ring away for season. I gave it a small technology timeout because it was making me anxious. What it said and what I was experiencing didn’t line up and I wasn’t trusting myself. I should be rested. I was taking magnesium, getting outside for sunlight, putting my bare feet on the grass for grounding.  I don’t use an alarm clock.  I wake up naturally.  The data looked good.

I was still tired.

Turns out rest isn’t just sleep or Sabbath.  Sleep offers biological repair and is very important, but it’s not the whole picture. Sabbath is intended for rest, but its often hard to keep it a day of rest.  There are other kinds of rest that we need our attention and that makes our sleep more effective.

This month, I want to explore a broader definition of rest with you.

We’ll start with sleep next week, the rhythms and signals that help your body actually receive it.  Then we’ll move in some daytime rest we might need a refresher on.

By the end of May, you might find yourself looking at your own tiredness as a signal that your rest needs tending.

We’re starting here, in Maycember, because it’s a good month to practice.

I’ll be cheering you on and probably sneaking in an extra nap,

If you’re noticing this in your own life and want someone to walk through it with you, coaching is always an option. You don’t have to figure it out alone.  Hit reply and let's chat.  I'd love to hear what this brings up for you. 

And if this made you think of someone, send it their way.  We're all a little tired this time of year.  Here's the link so they can get a copy sent to their own inbox.)